First of all, if you’re reading this, you’re getting married. I don’t know why you think that getting married is somehow going to make it easier to slack, because it’s not. But let’s set that aside for the purposes of this article. What we need to talk about here is the wedding planning process.

The way it usually works out is she will want you to share in the planning process. Now you and I both know that you really don’t care what shade of chartreuse the bridesmaids wear, the color of the cake frosting, the style of the wedding invitations, the floral arrangement of the corsages, and so on. But when a woman goes into wedding mode all of these things are used as proxies for caring about her, so you can’t just blow it off.

The proper way to handle this situation is to eagerly engage up-front to show your commitment. But then for each decision, choose the most garish, most heinous option you are presented with. For example, if your opinion is solicited on bridesmaids dresses, pick the bright orange ones that will make your fiance’s friends look like brothel whores. For music, suggest something from a local punk band named Bleeding Goat Eyes. Suggest the Beatles’ Yesterday as the theme to be played at the First Dance at the wedding reception (the lyrics are extremely appropriate if you think about it). Start to order the pink ruffled tux with the leopard-print cumberbun and let her stop you at the last minute.

With these tactics, your fiance will appreciate your eagerness (that’s all she’s looking for), and yet realize that she better handle this because men don’t have good taste with these types of things. You’ll get out of it, and she’ll still be happy. Now that’s what I call a win-win!


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